Inside the Little Plastic Castle

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https://liv.dreamwidth.org/539260.html

“Call-out culture,” like “political correctness,” sounds neutral while carrying conflicting ideological meaning.

Laurie Penny addresses some of these issues in "Who Does She Think She Is: The internet does not hate women. People hate women, and the internet allows them to do it faster, harder, and with impunity."

https://longreads.com/2018/03/28/who-does-she-think-she-is

It took me many years to learn the most important distinguishing factor when trying to decide what criticism to take on board, once you’ve filtered and blocked for bots and fascists. It’s not about tone, and it’s not, for fuck’s sake, about Twitter. It’s about pleasure. Is somebody actively enjoying making you feel like shit? Is driving conscientious people to mental breakdown a really good time for them? Are they getting off on your pain? There’s a word for that, and it’s not “ally.” I understand that bullying can feel pretty damn good, especially if you don’t call it that. I understand that playing the game of trashing feels comfortable and comprehensible, even righteous, when so little else does. But I’ve read all the theory and staggered through all the flame wars and I’ve come to the conclusion that when you get down to it, people who enjoy hurting other people are not worth your time or mine. They can take that kink to a club where it belongs.

When I was young and energetic, we discussed this in the context of Jo Freeman’s 1976 article about “TRASHING: The Dark Side of Sisterhood”

What is “trashing,” this colloquial term that expresses so much, yet explains so little? It is not disagreement; it is not conflict; it is not opposition. These are perfectly ordinary phenomena which, when engaged in mutually, honestly, and not excessively, are necessary to keep an organism or organization healthy and active. Trashing is a particularly vicious form of character assassination which amounts to psychological rape. It is manipulative, dishonest, and excessive. It is occasionally disguised by the rhetoric of honest conflict, or covered up by denying that any disapproval exists at all. But it is not done to expose disagreements or resolve differences. It is done to disparage and destroy.

And yet I still got involved in a Maoist communist group, than whom there are no more expert trashers. I wish I had a handy moral to this story.

Can you point me to works where people went from trashing to actual discussion, listening and responding to what people actually say.